There has been too much talk about the whole local girl dating white men issue that I can’t help but blog about it myself. Conform, I must (to the blogging, not the dating, lol)!
I find it rather upsetting actually – the surge of local girls who prefer foreigners, or shall I say westerners, since that seems to be the preference, over local men. I do have a problem with it, but I think that’s just because I am a cultured person and I don’t believe as much in inter-racial relationships, not because it’s taboo or anything, but because I haven’t gone through a relationship of such nature. No hate, just not feeling it, though.
It is not uncommon for a woman these days to fall for a man of another race, regardless of what it is, which is really, fine by me. As an Indian, I do irk when I see an Indian man walking hand in hand with a woman of a different race, but hey, that’s just me being jealous. But, oh well, right? In this day and age anything can happen. Neither, however, is it uncommon for one to label a local girl with a westerner for a boyfriend as an “SPG”. It’s just one of those stereotypes that they have to carry when they fall for a person from that part of the world. A majority, I believe, do fall under the stereotypes attached to that label – money-hungry, unattractive, loose, etc. I would normally agree, but lately I’ve found that there are a minority, although an increasing one, that aren’t like that. The relationships they enter follow the same process that you or me go through. They become friends, date, fall in love.. the whole deal.
Now, see, I’m not saying that I don’t have a problem with the East-West bonding and all, but my problem isn’t with the racial issue. I have a problem with the concept behind it. Many girls say that westerners are more matured. In fact, I read a forum where westerners were claimed to be more accepting of one’s true nature (i.e. if you’re fat, it’s okay). I find that point seriously flawed. I know many Asians who accept me for the way I am and if they don’t, it’s probably because they have been too exposed to the media’s portrayal of what defines a woman as beautiful – tall, skinny, yadaa yadaa. You catch my drift? This begs the question of which media portrays this depiction of woman most? Which country in the world sits in the centre of popular culture? Yeah, you got that right alright. And why is it that local men claim otherwise when their girls say westerners are better? First of all, I believe that there is no comparison. Asian values and the values that westerners have are different. However, what gives a local man (or woman for that matter) who claims to be influenced by western values, or idolizes western celebrities, or is influence by western music, or thinks that Abraham Lincoln is a bigger hero than Mahatma Gandhi or LKY (FYI, I don’t know who is better and I don’t think it’s deemed fit to compare these historical figures who come from different settings) the right to say that he/she is better than a westerner when he/she’s just trying to become one of them? Hmm?
This topic cannot, for all the reasons in the world, be generalized. It’s like saying ALL Singaporeans are kiasu. It’s a stereotype, most people have no choice but to fall into it. Maybe, just maybe, they are “SPG”s, but maybe not? Maybe they got fed up of the egoistic treatment they get from Singaporean men who think they are too good for these local girls who then end up going for westerners, who by the way, may think the same way about the women in their country (men have very similar grounds for ego)? Singaporean men then start getting angry at the intensity of which local women choose foreigners over them and then blame it on the woman for being detached from her “Asian” values, when they never ask themselves if they would actually date that particular woman if they had a chance to? I’m guessing a majority of them would say no, though, because she probably is “unattractive”. I do hope I’m wrong though.
I have not been raised in Singapore. I come from a country where people fall in love with each other simply because. No reasons, excuses, whatsoever attached. No comparison of how their exes were more attractive, no value placed on monetary issues (well not much at least), almost none on educational background. They live in the now. You like me? I’m single? Ok, let’s try and work this out. Some may say it’s desperate – but aren’t we all? Aren’t we all craving for another half deep down inside? Just that little bit of companionship, I say. It’s different here. Many say they don’t adhere to the social norms, they don’t conform, they are different, and whathaveyous, but they aren’t. I’ve met too many who fall under the stereotype I personally have against Singaporeans. It’s not a bad thing, I mean, different country, different culture, it’s just the way it is, but it just makes me wonder why Singaporeans, who are much more modern and supposedly civilized question things that they have brought about themselves? Why worry about the incline of SPGs when it doesn’t affect you? If you say it does, then why brood upon it when the girl you like goes for a foreigner when you have a local girl waiting to give you her love? Why turn angsty and decide that since you’ve been left for a foreigner, you now shall leave all local girls and you prefer foreign girls instead? No hate on the race of men, but stop letting your women go. Women are suckers (no pun intended) for a man who can make her feel independent and confident. That does not in any way mean that she’s better than you, as your ego claims. And if she does turn out, really, to be better than you, then that should in fact fuel your ego because it is after all your love that made her become what she is now. But no, everyone is a pessimistic, right? Sigh, then again, that’s another story altogether.
See. Too much argument. Headache ah.
I say just adapt to things. If your friend is in a position where she’s fallen in love with a white man, make it a point to get to know him. If you still can’t like it, so be it. If you do, good for you, seems like you made a new friend.
And most important of all, do not judge a book by its cover. Please.
